we’re going to need some help

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Long ago, in what now seems like another lifetime, a woman whom I called mom and a gentle girl whom I called sister, were in a fractured hard place. Together they traveled, down many lonesome roads and sleepless nights. Anguished by the choices that would inevitably fall at the hands of her beloved daughter, my (mom) created a circle of women to help guide my (sister) along the way. This of course was unbeknown to her (my sister) and yet it seemed like such a heroic and humble effort on the part of my (mom). To create a web of women who might be there to catch her (my sister) if she were to fall. To be there when she needed a firm, loving hand which couldn't possibly have come from my (mom). I was (and still am) amazed at the inner strength it took her (my mom) to keep going, despite all signs leading toward a continued long hard road ahead of her in terms of (my sister).

The best part is that they now get along. I am not sure how often they get into a row, I am not sure how often they get to hang out together and I am not sure how well either of them still understand one another, but those are stories to be shared by each of them. Not me as an outsider. Not me as a (daughter) or a (sister). There are the stories within this story as well, as how we each became (sister) (daughter) (mom) to each other and where we all are at with that today. Comfort, love, respect and divine intervention all play a part for certain, however, and for that I am eternally grateful.

The part that I am in right now revolves around my relationship with my daughter. First born. Happy child. Almost too good. Very strong willed. Prone to spells of spewing hatred towards me already.

We are going to need some help along the way, she and I and I am here to ask for yours. I am imagining another certain circle forming around her, there and present now, happy to keep up by email or letters or calls of encouragement. I look to you all to be there, waiting in the wings for her when she comes across a dip in the road, a fracture in the day or an earthquake of her own. She will know you. She will love you. And hopefully she will turn to you in times of need. From the bottom of my heart, I ask, "Will you please be there for her, now and in the future? When I am not the person she most wants to see or talk to? When I am not the person she feels that she most trusts? Will you allow her to pick you so that we can all feel safer in her growing up~beyond our walls and home but never far from our hearts?"

In return, I can offer my gratitude, love, respect and perhaps a tin of cookies or a homemade cake. But from her~she will inspire you and share boundless energy, she will warm your heart just with her smile and enthusiasm for life. Just like my (sister) always has. It is just sometimes so hard to see.

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