These are so clever and accurate for me it's a little bit scary! How about you?
* Nothing ticks you off more than that moment during an argument
when you realize you're wrong.
* I totally take back all those
times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
* There is a
great need for a sarcasm font.
think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.
* I have a hard time deciphering
the fine line between boredom and hunger.
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers
* Map Quest really needs to start their
directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least
kind of tired.
* Bad decisions make good stories
never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when
you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive
for the rest of the day.
* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're
sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too
* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and
it asks me if I want to save any changes to my thirty page insurance
policy that I swear I did not make any changes to.
* I hate when
I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I
immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what
time it is.
* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone
just so I know not to answer when they call.
* Even if I knew
your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.
* I think the freezer
deserves a light as well.
or Saturday night more kisses begin with liquor than with "Kay"