Plastic, I'm through with you.
We've been together for so very long, I don't know how this will work but I've simply got to try. You are the flaking lining in my pan (which they *always* say will *never* flake and it *always* does). You are the bags I tote my purchases home in. You are the inexpensive and ultimately lost sippy cups. You are the wrapping on my purchases from the store. You are the lining to my garbage can and the accent trim in my car. You are the casing of my computer! You are my phone! You are the laundry detergent and the broom. You are everywhere I want to be. Much to the envy of Visa, I'm sure. Oh, wait. You *are* the Visa.
But still, you've got to go. I'm going to try as best I can to get rid of you but we both know that this isn't going to be a cold turkey break up. You *will* always be there, despite my best intentions to rid myself of you. You will be the hook & loop tape in the homemade Ziploc bags I will sew from cotton. You will be the securing force around the top of the wine bottle I break open most nights. And you will continue to be prevalent in my car.
So, yes. This will be a "friends with benefits" type of arrangement. I will call upon you when I need to make a purchase, while I finish up using the Costco amount of garbage bags staring out at me from under the sink and when I go for that nightly drink. I did say it wouldn't be easy, didn't I?
In the meantime, I'm going to get advice and enthusiasm from my friends here:
Canvas Bags by Tim Minchin
Why don't you join me in my break up? It may well be the first group break up of its kind! Yes, if you join in, you can have all the pints of misery ice cream that you need. Just no break up M&M tea~too close to the offender. See you on the couch!